Task 1- Focus Study Dear Evan Hanson

Task 1

My journey. When i started the first year, as an actor, I’d always kept myself in a little 'comfort' box that I was terrified to step out of. I’d been a member of an acting club for 3 years however it didn’t change the fact that I was afraid of being loud and having people look at me, there were only a few types of characters I could play or I’d get overwhelmed, i could only play characters that were shy like me. For the first show I only played the doorwoman and an extra witch. Playing the doorman was okay, I got nervous when it was my turn to go up but it was good, it was a nice way to get me more comfortable preforming. However, for the extra witch with no lines I found it really, really out of my comfort zone which is crazy because it’s not even a part. I just didn’t want anyone to see me. But once we’d practised it and I found a way to have fun with it gradually it became something I looked forward to and I ended up saying some of the chant on my own, which doesn't seem like a big deal but it was for me at the time. After that, my confidence started growing and I auditioned for Violet Beauregard in Charlie and the chocolate factory and because I was finally feeling confident enough to create a unique scene for the auditions I got the part! I remember I couldn’t believe I was playing a main role. Playing this character is where I really started to become confident with preforming for an audience. I let myself play this character a lot bigger than previous characters I’d played before. However, I still wasn’t 100% confident so my projection wasn’t very good. I think because I was still cautious I wasn’t fully letting myself go and subconsciously i still didn’t want to raise my voice too loud and make people notice me, I’m quite a shy girl so it was hard. Then for remote my character was a more real character so it wasn’t that out of my comfort zone it just helped me to play a different type of character. However, my projection still wasn’t great. Then blood brothers came along. I got the part of Mrs Lyons which was so exiting. I remember when we all went to watch it at the theatre and everyone came out saying this person would be good for this or that and I was very disheartened when no one mentioned me for anything and that’s when I knew I had to work really hard for it so the next day I started watching different scenes and reading about the play so I could be prepared. When these auditions came along I decided I was going to go for Mrs Johnstone and Mrs Lyons, I thought Linda was a great character however I felt like I was too tall and broad so I didn’t really suit the character but I preferred the mothers anyway for many reasons. I really put my all into the auditions and whenever I’d get nervous and want to change what I was doing to make it smaller I’d just think about how it would be more embarrassing to give a bad performance than to fully go for it. Then I got the role of Mrs Lyons ( a leading character) and after working with such an amazing cast I became so outside my box I couldn’t even see the box anymore. I can now project my voice because I’ve let go of all the anxiety’s I felt before, I wasn't scared to shout anymore, I actually found power and confidence in it. I think working with Emie really helped me because shes so confident with her acting and i felt comfortable with her. i also felt like i had to rise to her level a bit other wise the scene wouldn't work. I wanted people to notice me and I had never felt more confident in acting. I’ve also got so much more confidence in film and tv, I don’t find it uncomfortable like I used to, I’m confident in the characters I’m playing now. I used to worry about what the camera angle was and what I was doing however, now I know that’s not my job, my job is to focus on the performance I’m portraying. I’m so grateful for this course and how much it’s pushed me as an actor and how much confidence it’s gave me in acting and as a person. To think I started of playing the doorman and went to playing lead roles in the most important show of the year is incredible.The acting world feels so much bigger now that I’m not afraid to push myself and completely and utterly become the character. 

To push myself more and make myself the best i can be as an actor i think i need to work on some things. I'd like to look at singing since we've learned we need to sing a song at uni and drama school auditions. We told Kelly this and tom is going to start having a lesson with us every week which is really good because its something ive been stressed about. Another thing I've been wanting to work on is monologues, classical and contemporary, because we need them in university auditions and i would like to learn how to break them down and how to not make the body language look like i'm stood awkwardly telling a story. Since we've told Kelly and Kane this they've set aside time in the week to focus on our uni monologues where Kane will help us find them and work on them. So that is good and will really help me prepare for auditions.